|
|
Tuesday, September 11th, 2007
| |
2:18 pm - San Diego tooth fiasco
|
Jen and I just got back from a short, quick vacation to San Diego. We saw tigers, dik diks (miniature deer), three varieties of white rhino, fed dolphins, bat rays and sea lions and ate embarassing amounts of expensive, rich food. We stayed in the Old Town section of San Diego because I remember really enjoying the architecture and sense of history that permeates the place during previous visits. What I didn't recollect was the "frat boy" element or the Margarita Factory on every other corner. We did stay in a nice, fairly affordable hotel, the Best Western Hacienda. It was on a hill overlooking the city and I appreciated that it was slightly "removed" from the whole spring break scene. The first night we got there we wandered through the Old Town state Park which consisted of a pedestrian walkway winding through the so-called "birthplace of California" and several adobe buildings that date back to the early 1800's. It was comforting to know that several thousand Natives died so that we could purchase delicious homemade salt water taffy from the sweets shop.
At the sweets shop we bought the aforementioned salt water taffy and Jen bought some dark chocolate covered honeycomb which would soon become my arch nemesis. We walked back to our hotel and dug into the candy. The first bite of honeycomb produced a pop sound and it seemed as if a piece of honeycomb was stuck to the back of one of my front teeth (the chipped one that was filled in with fake enamel several years ago). I didn't think much of it and tried to pry the piece of honeycomb from the back of my tooth with my tongue. It wouldn't budge. It was then that I realized that what I was feeling wasn't feeling a piece of candy, but a gaping hole. A huge chunk of the fake enamel must have popped off when I bit down on the honeycomb. It was such a weird sensation. My left front tooth now only consisted of a tooth facade with a vast section of emptiness behind it. I decided not to do anything about it, since it wasn't that obvious and it didn't really affect my ability to chew my food. It did, however, lead to me imagine all the objects I could store in my tooth hole without anyone having the slightest idea, like a dik dik or a rare byzantine coin. It made me feel very powerful.
|
|
(4 comments | comment on this)
|
| Monday, July 9th, 2007
| |
2:35 pm
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) jennifatt tagged me to do this, so here goes!
These are the rules: Each player starts with 7 random habits/facts about themselves. People who are tagged need to write their own entry about their seven things, as well as these rules. At the end of your entry, you need to choose 7 people to get tagged & list their names.
1. strangely enough, I do have pogonophobia, the fear of beards.
2. I love the color orange. During one period in my life I was so obsessed with the color orange that I bought orange jeans, an orange shirt, orange shoes and dyed my hair orange. Sometimes when the mood would strike me I would put on my orange ensemble and pose in front of an orange cheetos truck that my neighbor would drive and have my housemate take photos of me. I have no idea why I wasn't beaten daily for this behavior.
3. I am working on a giant painting for my mom that is inspired by a Chagall painting called Three Candles. It is atrocious and I am embarassed to show it to anyone. It depicts my mom and her husband embracing on the beach, wind blowing gently through their hair as seagulls circle overhead and a crab crawls up from the beach. The seagulls represent my brother and I, the crab because my mom's astrological sign is Cancer and there is also a buddha in the background shrouded in shadow because my stepdad is a Buddhist. Part of me is tempted to start churning out work in this style as an experiment to see if I would garner more attention than I do with the work I make currently.
4. I find museum dioramas and exhibits that are neglected and in disrepair to be much more compelling than new, slick, immaculate ones.
5. I admire old comedians from the vaudeville times much more than contemporary comedians. For one thing, they paved the way for the new ones, and they did it under extremely unfavorable traveling and performing conditions. There was also a overwhelming sense of irreverence in those times that would never fly today.
6. I sometimes wonder if I'm not very smart at all, I just work extra hard so as not to be perceived as stupid.
7. I almost got a Chewbacca tattoo in college. whew.
I have no one to tag that hasn't already been tagged. so lonely. so very lonely.
|
|
(7 comments | comment on this)
|
| Sunday, June 17th, 2007
| |
10:52 am - Pacific Northwest
|
So, tomorrow I will be hopping in the car with my bag full of trader joes snacks and heading off to the great Pacific Northwest. My Northern California friends and I have been planning a trip for a while, and I suggested we head up to my dad's cabin on the lake in Washington, and they were like "yeah, sounds good. You're the best matt. The absolute best. What a wonderful mind you have." That's the way we talk to each other, usually before some sensuous oil massages.
Anyway, I'm looking forward to a little vacation. There's something very satisfying and liberating about road trips. Even when I'm by myself I really relish the sensation of zipping through space surrounded by amazing scenery and being able to let my mind flit around to different subjects. Usually the subjects include but are not limited to...swivel chairs, hover shoes, tapas, exploding bibles and John Quincy Adams.
I think we might film a video while we're there. It might be about an expedition in search ofBigfoot, since my dad lives in the middle of some woods. I also bought a pretty amazing wrestling mask as a father's day present for my dad that faintly resembles a giant, gilled lizard face. So I suppose we could also film "Search for the Chupacabra!"
|
|
(2 comments | comment on this)
|
| Saturday, April 28th, 2007
| |
6:46 pm - worst movie ad ever?
|
I was leafing through the LA Times today and something caught my eye. It was a print ad for Vacancy, the new thriller with Kate Beckinsale and Luke Wilson.
Now I had no desire to see this movie anyway but this ad certainly clinched that for me. Don't see anything wrong with it you say? look a little closer. The bottom left. Okay, the hotel sign and marquee with the actors names is fine, but why in gods name did the advertising execs feel that it was necessary to include the two leads looking out the window making "really scared" faces? Now, no one ever accused Luke of being a master thespian, but his expression in the ad looks as if someone off camera said, "Now, You're five years old and you just peed your pants in class...ACT!" And why isn't he biting his nails? Biting his nails would have been too over the top but the mime "inside a glass box" hand to the window wasn't? This ad makes me long for the days when every movie poster was a salad of floating actors' heads. Yikes.
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Wednesday, April 18th, 2007
| |
9:15 pm - bees in my ear!!
|
|
I was walking across the street the other day, carrying a bin of art supplies when a bee flew directly into my right ear. Since both my hands were occupied with my bin and I was in the middle of the street my only line of defense was to jerk my right shoulder up toward my ear repeatedly as I walked hoping that it would fly away. It didn't. It continued buzzing and bumping around my ear canal. Finally after about six or seven shoulder thrusts, the bee dropped, stunned into my art bin. I had finally finished crossing the street, so I was able to put down my crate and free the bee. If I had tried to imagine a more inconvenient scenario for a bee to fly into my ear, I don't think that I could.
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Monday, March 12th, 2007
| |
9:53 pm - meat filled dough
|
|
Jen and I have been talking about starting up a food review website. The gimmick is that we would only consume and reflect upon meat-filled dough delights from all different cultures, like empanadas, piroshkis, samosas, bao etc. There could even be a special section devoted to sandwiches. The reviews would be organized according to the foods origin. We tried to think of a specific region of the world that did not engage in devouring dough that is filled with meat and we could not come up with any. Go ahead, try to think of one. I dare you.
|
|
(2 comments | comment on this)
|
| Tuesday, January 16th, 2007
| |
12:48 pm - Final travel journal entry 1/6
|
I'm flying home right now. We are on an overcrowded United flight from Sydney, Australia to Los Angeles...just like the characters on LOST! and just like the plane on LOST, this craft feels like it's about to break in half. You would think that airlines would retire planes after they've been in use for forty years or more, and they're held together by cookie dough, but not UNITED!!
We spent all day yesterday in Christchurch, worshiping Christ of course. It was nice because it was the only real day that we were able to casually stroll around, exploring a city. Christchurch reminded me of Cambridge in England, with it's flat layout, well-manicured parks and even a meandering stream called the Avon flowing through the center of town. "Punters" could be seen navigating the river with tourists in their long, narrow, canoe like boats.
After having stayed in our very own room in a very nice hotel, Jen and I started off the day by heading over to the Botanic Garden is search of an authentic Afternoon tea experience. Christchurch was described as being the most British city outside of Britain. Sadly, no teahouses. All the inhabitants did have horrible teeth, however! After wandering aimlessly for hours, we realized it was 2:30 and neither of us had really eaten anything all day, so we headed off to Oxford Terrace and discovered a bustling cafe district.
Oh, I also have to mention that before the Botanic Gardens, Jen and I wandered around the Christchurch Arts District. we didn't encounter anything terribly interesting besides a show in one of the galleries called "The Art of Homer Simpson", which was, strangely enough, a series of paintings of Homer Simpson rendered in an impasto/pointillist style.
So anyway, we finally found a cafe called the Stonefire Grill. They actually brought your meat dish out on a sizzling volcanic rock, which was meant to cook the meat evenly while keeping the meat juices inside. meat. The waitress informed us that Kangaroo! was their special, but we declined. Jen had the venison and I had the lamb rump sandwich, no surprise given my penchant for rump.
After, we walked around some more, checked our internet, and hung out by Cathedral Square. We tried and failed to see the COCA (the Christchurch Museum of Contemporary Art), as they were just closing up. But from what I saw briefly it was probably for the best. Given the preferred aesthetic here, I think that my shitty undergrad paintings of wizards in fast food joints and men with their heads on fire could very well start a revolution!
Then, we met the parental units for dinner. Earlier, at the Christchurch Natural History Museum Jen and I found what we'd been looking for all trip: a giant, plastic Weta! (We learned from the tag that the Weta is also known as the "devil grasshopper")
We have all been slightly dreading seeing one, as they are the only truly creepy creature that exists in this utopia, but Richard especially got worked up thinking that he might encounter one eventually. We thought presenting a plastic Weta to him when he least expected it would be good, clean fun. I waited until the time was right, the Weta burning a hole in my pocket, until finally we were climbing into the car after dinner. I went around the passenger side, dropped the Weta in the middle of the seat and watched in sheer delight as Richard opened the car door, glanced down and let out a startled "YELP!" Ty captured it all on camera too.
That night we flew to Auckland, spent the night in a semi-seedy Motel and woke up at the ungodly hour or 5 am so we could catch a plane at 9 am. Erica, Bill and Don saw us off at the airport and after the brief, aforementioned stop in Sydney we are currently flying over the middle of the Pacific Ocean en route to L.A.
I am looking forward to being home, and I know Jen is really looking forward to seeing the cats. I know I will need a substantial amount of time to process all of our experiences. They are such a blur right now, but I am definitely glad we did everything we did. So, with that, my gentle marmots I bid you adieu. Here's hoping I have many more opportunities to write travel journals in the future.
|
|
(5 comments | comment on this)
|
| Sunday, January 14th, 2007
| |
7:32 pm - Travel Journal 1/4
|
We woke up on Wednesday, had a quick breakfast of toast and Weet-Bix (bizarre bricks of consolidated corn flakes) and headed off to Central Dunedin to see the Art Gallery. The main exhibit there was work by the Native Kiwi artist, Julia Morrison. Her stuff was pretty good, I especially liked her sequential, modular series of paintings that snaked their way around the gallery walls and hallways. She also constructed dresses from different materials, like dirt, one was dyed in pigs blood and her own feces. I wasn't crazy about those, but while we were there, some guy thought that one of the dresses was an interactive piece, as it was suspended from the ceiling by a metal chain. He decided that it would be a good idea to give the chain a good hard yank. To no one's surprise but his own apparently, the artwork fell to the floor with a thud. Jen and I were in the other room, so all we heard was the "thud" and then the sound of the chain unravelling to the floor which took an absurdly long time. I think the director was in the same room as us, because when we heard the commotion, she looked up to the ceiling and then immediately sank her face in her hands, obviously knowing what had happened.
In America, the perp probably would have been slide-tackled or wrestled to the ground. In New Zealand they politely and gently directed him away from the wreckage, and let him continue wandering around the museum. Anyway, we only spent about an hour there, then zipped back to Dave N' Robyns' house to have a quick lunch before we were off to Larnach castle, a strange structure built atop the Otago Peninsula by an eccentric banker, William Larnach in 1871 (I'm reading from a brochure). He ended up killing himself in Parliament after he lost two of his wives and all of his money.
The castle itself was pretty cool. They did try cater to tourists though by fabricating a "haunted room" where the 2nd wife died. They installed dim lighting, peculiar 3-D portraits of the people that had lived there and in the corner a ghostly mannequin floated overhead.
After having some tea and a peppermint square at the cafe we headed off to the "Chasm" and "Lovers Leap", two separate and breathtaking natural abysses. Dave is a rockclimber and climbing instructor, so he was telling us how he had often climbed the natural columns next to Lovers Leap which made me poop my pants. Dave made me feel better by telling me that he pooped his pants an hour earlier. Finally it was time to eat!
I had some spaghetti and Jen had some garlic mussells at a pub in Portobello. Of course, ice cream was required after our meal, so I had a scoop of Hokey Pokey (NZ National flavor containing indeterminate amounts of vanilla, caramel, honeycomb bits and childrens tears)
Earlier we had made reservations to visit the Yellos-eyed penguin preserve, the most endangered species of penguin. It was pretty amazing. The preserve consisted of an elaborate network of underground tunnels, so you were able to go right up to a penguin (who are notoriously anti-social) and observe them. Because your head was at ground level, the penguins thought that you were only a foot tall and didn't feel threatened.
We were able to get very close and personal, and let me tell you, they are tremendous kissers. It was definitely a unique, one of a kind experience. After that, everyone went to see the albatrosses flying a couple km's down the road. By this time it was 10 o'clock or so, yet it was still light. What a topsy-turvy world New Zealand is. Finally it was time to head home and collapse with weta plum visions dancing in my head.
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Saturday, January 13th, 2007
| |
2:15 pm - Travel Journal 1/3
|
I know I write this every entry, but the last few days have been a whirlwind. The day after New Years we all headed into town to explore. First we took the steepest gondola ever up to the top of a mountain overlooking Queenstown. Ty and I had to ride the luge at the top of course, which was kind of weaksauce compared to the one in Rotorua, but the view of Lake Wakatipu was nice. (Wikatipu translates to "pristine lake containing very little vomit or urine.") Bronwyn told us that at some point that day we should really ride the jetboats on the Shotover river, a couple kilometers away.
The Shotover was an unbelievably cerulean blue river twisting through canyons so picturesque, you'd think they were fabricated by the Imagineers from faux rock. The Jet boat, I gathered, was invented in New Zealand. It's unique in that it the engine can ingest large amounts of water and expel it, propelling the boat forward at a tremendous rate (about 90km/hr). I took some dramamine, wary of being the only passenger vomiting down my shirt in the photo. The ride was great. Our trusty driver (who comforted us by telling us he'd only been driving the boat a week) whisked us past sharp rock outcroppings and delighted us with numerous nausea-inducing 360's. He would do a hand signal before every 360 so people would be prepared...
but of course I was sitting right next to him in the front and couldn't see it. The G-forces were so extreme that I almost popped right out of the craft because there were no seatbelts as Kiwis don't concern themselves over trivial matters like safety precautions. But Ty and I, being in the front did swallow our share of icy river water and brown trout.
When we got home, Jen and I passed out for a couple hours and woke up to yet another elaborate supper including steak, porkchops, asparagus, potatoes, etc. Knowing that I had pretty much committed to bungee jumping with my mom and brother the next day I had a slightly uneasy sleep that night.
We woke up at around 8 the next day, packed our stuff, ate a quick breakfast and headed out to the Kawarau bridge, 135 feet above the Kawarau river. Apparently, this bridge was the site of the first bungee jump ever. Our appointment was for 10:45, but we arrived about 10 o'clock so that we had plenty of time to fret and sob before we actually jumped. they made us sign a death waiver before we headed out to bridge which calmed our nerves of course. Then, twenty minutes later they called our names and we walked across the bridge to the cabin where they strapped us into our gear. That's when the adrenaline really started flowing. My mom and Ty got equipped first, then me and we all stood in line behind a couple other bungeeers(?) The guy right before my mom was obviously losing it. You could tell by his darting eyes and shaking hands. They had him stand up after he was strapped in, told him to countdown from 5, but every time he got to one, he would back down, eyes bulging, mouth agape. The employees finally got fed up with his indecision and dragged him away, to his apparent relief. Then it was mom's turn. She jumped like a trouper. I couldn't see her jump, but I didn't hear a cord snap or an ear piercing scream, so I assumed it went well. Then Ty went. He jumped without incident.
Then, it was my turn. I really did feel okay until they had me stand at the edge of the wooden platform overlooking the river. That's when I got an idea of really how high up I was. 135 feet! Someone told me to count down...5..4..3..2..1...GO! I took a breath and jumped. It really was the most terrifying thing I've ever done. Before the jump I hadn't planned on screaming, nor had I planned on flailing my arms wildly like I was plummeting to my death, but I did scream and I definitely flailed. Next thing I knew my head and shoulders made contact with the river and then I was floating, soaring through the air. I let out a victorious yelp. Ty told me I looked like a flopping trout or a rag doll, my limbs flapping indiscriminately. I'm definitely glad I did it, but I can't really say I enjoyed it. I was just too petrified during the whole experience. Jen bought me a nice, yellow Kiwi bungee jumping shirt to celebrate my victory.
She also took video footage of all three of us jumping on my camera, so I have that.
So, after all our adrenaline reserves had been drained, we hopped in the car and headed for Dunedin, where we were to stay the next few nights with David, Erica's brother and his wife, Robyn, from Australia. Dunedin is the ancient Gaelic name for Edinburgh, and is known as the Edinburgh of the South. It was settled by Scotsmen, and in the center of the town (a converging of streets known as the Octagon) is a giant statue of the Scottish poet, Robbie Burns next to a cathedral.
It seemed like a town that I would love to spend some time in. Unfortunately all of our planned activities were to take place on the outskirts of town. That night, David and Robyn took us on a walk to the nearby Botanic garden and bird conservatory where a cockatoo named Sid talked to us and gave Jen a rock with his beak. He would say "Pretty cocky", "Have a cup of tea", and was rumored to say "What have you been doing today", but try as we might, we couldn't convince him to utter it. We even saw some endangered Keas, the "parrot clowns". One of them even picked up a handkerchief that was left in it's cage and started throwing it over its head and pacing back and forth in front of the fence to our delight.
TO BE CONTINUED
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Friday, January 12th, 2007
| |
7:10 pm - Travel Journal 12/31-1/1
|
There are only a few minutes until 2007! I am laying in a plush double bed in a private room on a farm in Queenstown. Iss a very good deal. Mom's cousin, Bronwyn, works for a filthy rich property developer. She lives in the 150 year old farm house up the hill, while John, the developer lives on a sprawling estate down below. He has 4 boys who each have their own private room adjacent to the main house, complete with a giant bed and their own private bathroom. Luckily, two of the boys are out of town, so Jen and I get to stay in one room while Richard and my mom get to stay in the other.
The farm is overrun with rabbits and the property is guarded by five young bulls. Bronwyn's dog, Russell is constantly chasing rabbits, birds and other prey all over the land. Bronwyn is an exceptionally friendly and accomodating person. The last two nights she prepared a hearty, delicious home-cooked farm meal complete with potatoes, coleslaw, ham, chicken, fresh, salad, broccoli, raw blowfish, citrus glazed noseholes, the works!! Today we got up early again so we could catch the tour bus to Fiordland, something I've wanted to see for quite a while.
Fiords are channels of water carved by glaciers during the ice ages, leaving behind deep valleys and breathtaking, craggy mountains towering above the water. It took us 5 1/2 hours to get to Milford Sound, but it was definitely worth it. When I took my road trip across the U.S., I was blown away by Yellowstone Park's scenery, but as my spiritual mentor Emeril Lagase would say, "Fiordlands really kicked the Natural spectacle factor up a notch! BAM!" This place had everything; vast, grassy meadows filled with purple and pink lupine flowers, crystal clear flowing streams, magnificent mountain peaks dusted with snow, ancient ice fields and the peaks in the fiords, impossibly carved with rainforests clutching to the rocks. The most famous peak at Milford Sound is called Mitre Peak
because it looks like the "mitred" cap that bishops wear. It was the most spectacular Natural scenery I've ever seen. Even more impressive than Rohnert Park in the wintertime.
After we drove back we were all totally and utterly drained of our life force. Luckily Bronwyn was waiting with some life force rejuvenating potatoes, chicken and salad.
After that, Jen and I headed to downtown Queenstown to survey the New Years Eve chaos. There were people of every possible demographic dancing to shitty DJ smash ups of Tone Loc and Hall and Oates. There was even a live band playing some tunes that sounded like poor man's Jamiroquai. It was pretty entertaining. Also, leering from the sidelines (trying to conspicuously sleaze on the scantily clad girls) were some inbred looking teenagers dressed up like "gangstas"
They didn't look tough so much as lost souls from a drum circle. Not very intimidating. Jen bought some hot chocolate with ginger and Ibought a piece of dark chocolate with citrus peels and a lime truffle from this great chocolate shop called Patagonia.
Queenstown is beautiful, a large town not a city, situated right on the shore of Lake Wakatipu with the Remarkables, an impressive mountain range, keeping watch. I'm looking forward to spending more time here.
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Thursday, January 11th, 2007
| |
6:29 pm - Travel Journal 12/30
|
We drove all day yesterday, through towns like Bulls and Vinegar Hill until we made it to Piakakariki (Piecock for short), a pleasant coastal town an hour North of Wellington. Mom's cousin, Pru, offered to let us stay at her place for the night. Pru and her husband, Steve, greeted us on the street and directed us toward a tiny, weatherbeaten shack at the top of the hill where, she indicated, we would be staying. It turns out the place is a nuns vacation home that Pru borrowed so that there would be enough beds. Steve and Pru were very nice and treated us to Salmon on puff pastry for dinner and homemade mint and lemon ice cream for dessert. It was PRU-TASTIC! We retired to the nunnery after supper which was kind of cool in an old, musty and slightly creepy way. Jen and I slept on a single bed that was barely large enough to fit Danny Devito.
In the morning we hopped inside Pru's high tech shower (not all together). It had knobs, levers and buttons for everything. There was even a button to teleport yourself to another location. Just make sure there's not a fly in there with you or you may become a BRUNDLEFLY!
We drove to Wellington early so that we could spend a whole day there. Wellington is a terrific town, like a miniaturized San Francisco, including the fog, wind and "good vibes, bro". We spent a few hours in the Natural History Museum, and even saw an enstinct Giant eagle attacking a Giant Moa ( a 8' tall, prehistoric flightless bird that only died out 700 years ago)
We ate at Hells Pizza (I had a limbo pizza) for lunch, and an Indian restaurant for dinner. Jen and I wandered aimlessly after eating, observing all the students living it up on their summer break. We noticed an awful lot of Herbal Ecstasy and party pill joints. It was like their version of the SF Head shop. Tomorrow, off to Queensland!
|
|
(1 comment | comment on this)
|
| Wednesday, January 10th, 2007
| |
5:46 pm - Travel Journal 12/28
|
Another jam-packed day. Jen and I lazed around a bit in the morning until we had to leave the house around 11. It was my first foreign driving experience, but I think I got the hang of it after a while, activating the windshield wipers instead of the turn signal just a few times. Our first stop was the Maori Cultural Center in Rotorua. Once there we only had time to watch some traditional Maori songs and dances like the Haka!
which was meant to intimidate their opponents in battle. It sure made me vomit excitedly! I also bought Jen a nice greenstone necklace and she was very grateful.
The symbol meant eternity and new beginnings. After that, we ate a quick bite and headed over to the Kiwi experience, which was not unlike the Jimi Hendrix Experience, in that it involved large, flightless nocturnal birds. Kiwis are the National bird and they resemble a hairy pear with a beak. Alright already, I'll draw one...
They are ridiculous specimens. At the end of the tour there was a room that replicated their natural habitat complete with dirt, ferns and grubs and worms sprinkled in for good measure. Also, the lights were off except for a few dim ones, so we were able to observe the kiwis as they rooted around in the dirt with their long beaks. At the end, the tour guide basically encouraged us to hunt down and kill every weasel, chote(ferret) and dog that we encounter, so that the kiwi population can recover. I thought that was weird, but being the impressionable fellow that I am, I went out and slayed 15 dogs and 3 CHOTES!! It was liberating.
After that, we drove to Mt. Maungenaui, a medium sized beach town on the East Coast of the North Island. Ty was planning on meeting his friend from school there. When we arrived, I was appalled at the number of meatheads and brodudes wandering the streets. Apparently, when Summer Vacation starts they all head straight for the coast with their hats on backwards and their shirts agape. I felt like I had been transported magically to Lake Havasu during Spring Break. Still, it was nice and Jen and I ate some delicious scallops and prawn ceviche at 2 Small Fish, "the second best restaurant in the Bay of Plenty" they sheepishly boasted. We cleansed our palates with the selection of sorbets which included apple, watermelon, strawberry and CUCUMBER!! QUALPS!! Today we are getting ready to pick Ty up from the bus station and then head South to the Wellington area to stay with more family. WAZOOO!! Until next time, NIGGAAZZ!
|
|
(3 comments | comment on this)
|
| Tuesday, January 9th, 2007
| |
11:19 am - Travel Journal 12/26
|
The last two days have been packed. On Christmas morning we woke up to a ridiculous breakfast spread of tea, mincefruit pies, assorted cookies, chocolates, peanut butter cups (which we brought as we heard they didn't exist in NZ), Pinkys (a NZ candy comprised of pink, strawberry flavored marshmallow covered in chocolate) and pineapple lumps (pineapple flavored taffy covered in chocolate). Quite the spectacle. Christmas dinner was delicious as well. I met all kinds of relatives, and almost all of them, well the younger ones anyway, were tattooed. That night, Erica made us watch a kiwi film about 4 Samoan friends in the Auckland area who get into all kinds of shenanigans called Sione's Wedding. It was a rollicking, laugh-out-loud, fiercely hypnotic, nerve-jangling powerhouse. Not really, but it had its funny moments.
This morning we received the best Christmas present ever. Our luggage! It had been delivered in the middle of the night. We were fully stoked...to the EXTREME!! Then we said our good-byes and hopped in our rented Toyota Prado to head off toward Rotorua, a geothermal hotbed and Maori cultural hub. The scenery on the driver there was phenomenal...rolling green hills loaded with fluffy cotton balls (sheep) and livestock of all varieties. It looked very much like Sonoma County, except the mountains in the distance were much more majestic. We stopped at one point, after having driven for 3 hours or so, and ate some greasy Fish N' Chips which I assume had been injected with additional grease so that the grease oozed out of the skin in a constant stream.
After having consumed those time bombs we continued on. Finally, 10 Kilometers outside of Rotorua we spotted a sign for the ZORB, which turns out, is not only the catchphrase of one "Aaron Grail", honorary Sebastopol mascot and wood sprite, but a giant plastic ball that once can climb inside and then be pushed down a grassy hill.
It looked pretty fun, but Ty and I were much more excited about the luge. The luge was a giant, concrete track atop the hills overlooking Rotorua. After taking a gondola up to the top, you could climb inside these flimsy plastic toboggans with handlebars and zip down the track. It was insanely fun. The crazy thing was I guess kiwis don't bother themselves over potential lawsuits as the track twisted and turned every which way but there was not a railing or barrier in sight. Ty and I were marvelling at the fact that if you were suicidal, and were trying to conceive of a fun and public way to die, it doesn't get much better than zipping down at 30 mph, veering off a cliff and tumbling down the mountain to the chagrin and delight of those in the gondola and chairlifts.
The sides of the track were littered with random helmets and out of commission carts from those that had gone before us. Ty and I went down twice. Initially, we took the scenic route, then deeming that track too emasculating we decided to try the intermediate track the second time around. As we were cruising toward the intermediate turn off, Ty, being the daredevil that he is, abruptly turned into the advanced track, and that was the last I ever saw of him. I'm assuming he vanished into one of the many geothermic vents that you find around Rotorua. My ride was fast and smooth, as everyone was either on the wussy or badass track, so there was not another soul on the road with me. At the bottom, Ty told me his track had ramps and jumps! Yipes! After that, upon Jen's prodding, we headed over to the AGRODOME! A spectacular, agriculture- based theme Park EXTRAVAGANZA!! Outside the park there was an impressive monument to their bread and butter, an 8 foot tall Merino Sheep!
Once inside, we climbed aboard some benches attached to a tractor chauffered by a jolly Aussie tour guide. The first stop of the farm tour gave us an opportunity to feed ostriches and ALPACAS! It was quite a treat. There was a giant ostrich egg laying neglected in the middle of the pasture.
Then, we observed a bunch of emus and sheep and Jen finally got to pet and feed a sheep. They were a bit agressive though. I was afraid they were going to rape, then eat Jen. Luckily they only raped her. Whew! We stopped to try the local honey made at the farm from the pollen of white clover. Then, more alpacas and sheep. I guess Alpacas can get along with any animal. I was hoping for an Alpaca/Jaguar pen. No luck. We even drove by a Highland Coo. MOOO. Jen was glowing the whole time. I've never seen her so elated. It made me happy. Drained and hungry, we left the Agrodome and after an hour of driving we finally made it to our rented house on Lake Taupo. It's very pleasant. You can even see Mt. Egmont across the lake.
|
|
(1 comment | comment on this)
|
| Monday, January 8th, 2007
| |
3:09 pm - New Zealand Travel Journal: 12/24/06
|
Sounds overheard in a strange room in a strange country trying to sleep off the jetlag:
strangely familar accents
Snow Patrol, "light up"
"They're coming to take me away, ha ha"
intermittent wind gusts
the sound of food being prepared, metal striking porcelain
Eagles, "Hotel California"
We skipped a day and lost a bit of our souls yesterday as we spent a total of about 8 hours in LAX. Our initial flight was pushed back which meant we would have missed our connecting flight from Honolulu to Auckland. Miraculously, my mom was able to secure a direct flight to Auckland on Qantas air, the Australian Airline Dustin Hoffman so eloquently referred to in Rain Man. The flight was about 12 hours long and wasn't that bad, surprisingly. I watched Little MIss Sunshine which was full of "crazy antics", but redeemed itself at the end. Also, I took some generic sleep aid which knocked me out for 1/2 an hour at a time, but was woken up intermittently to the screeches of a devil child in the cabin ahead of us. But most of the time I woke up as it is almost impossible to sleep upright and my head was bending backwards so far that my spine was about to snap.
We finally arrived in Auckland around 6 AM, sans baggage. Our luggage was having a fabulous time laying on the beach and drinking daquiris several thousand miles to the East in Honolulu. Total bummer. But we were all, "Se La Vie, Hakuna Matata", because we were in another country!! My mom's cousin, Erica, picked us all up, drove us to her house. Along the way we discussed the diverse flora and fauna that inhabit the islands, focusing mainly on the disgusting and appropriately named "Weta", a giant flightless cricket that looks not unlike Bud Cort.
Back at the homestead, we met the whole family, her husband Bill, her father Don, her daughters, Kim and Leanne. Since we did not possess any clothes at that juncture except those on our body we were shuttled to the most expansive outdoor mall I'd ever seen to make some much needed purchases. So basically our introduction to New Zealand so far has consisted of us spending time in the Auckland Airport then heading directly to the mall.
After we got back, we all simultaneously collapsed and lost consciousness for three or four blissful hours. After that pleasant, recuperative sleep I awoke to find the walls crawling with wetas. As I clutched my face in horror, my flesh started coming off in chunks. Not this dream again, I chuckled to myself.
Ty, Jen and I decided to go on a walk to the beach after waking, which was only about 1/2 a mile away. it was a pleasant jaunt, the scenery was appealing, though the architecture was weird.
But I have a feeling the scenery on the south Island will make this Island look like a weta's abdomen.
After a brief crisis involving our flaky cat sitter, we sat down to a delicious, cholesterol laden supper with lemon meringue pie for dessert.
Tomorrow is Christmas, the day that honors the birth of our lord! Before I go, I want you to know the New Zealand power outlets look like this...
Good-Night!
|
|
(1 comment | comment on this)
|
| Saturday, January 6th, 2007
| |
7:55 pm - the Zealand
|
Just got back today from our whirlwind tour of New Zealand. Need time to process everything. But I did keep a travel journal, so I will post that and some pictures soon.
Some highlights:
Bungee jumping off a bridge in Queenstown
Jet boating on the Shotover River in Queenstown
Going to Fiordlands National Park, and not just because it's called "fiordlands", but also because of the scenery.
Seeing the endangered yellow-eyed (and bellied?) penguins near Dunedin (the Edinburgh of the South)
more to come..
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Wednesday, December 27th, 2006
| |
3:16 pm - kiwis
|
We are in New Zealand now. Too many things to report, so I will just list the animals that we have seen to give you a vague idea how much we have done so far.
(In order of appearance)
jack russell terrier
countless birds
house cat
sheep to the EXTREME!!
cows
horses
deer
rabbits
alpacas
llamas
ostriches
emus
bees
highland coos (furry cows from Scotland!)
kiwi birds
stoats (taxidermy specimen, weird weasel creatures)
possum (also taxidermy, not like our possum, they look more like red raccoons)
weta (preserved, they are giant, horrific crickets)
spindly spiders
and the road kill here is always mysterious and exciting! What creatures are in that carnage?
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Sunday, December 3rd, 2006
| |
6:11 pm - What's Happenin' Rerun!
|
The other day a three year old kid said to me in a very matter-of-fact manner, "you know, sometimes I forget how much I like juice."
I think I might make a bust of Michael Richards out of toothpaste.
I just removed the plastic eyeball coverings from my Halloween porch lights to transform them magically and Christally into Christmas lights.
Today I tripped over the giant latex banana peel in my studio. I laid there on the floor for a minute pondering the absurdity of the situation. I seriously cannot fucking walk with this thing taking up so much space. Does anyone want it? ??
I've been listening to a Danish band called Mew. They're pretty good, although I cannot help but imagine how dated they will sound in ten years or so...akin to Europe's "The Final Countdown".
My beard is growing longer every second!!!!
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Friday, November 3rd, 2006
| |
11:18 pm - Hallolame
|
|
I am so lame these days. Halloween consisted of me getting home from work, changing into my pajama pants and waiting to see if any kids would come trick-or-treating. No parties, no costume. At least I haven't yet hit the old man stage of my life, where I turn the porch light off on Halloween, and cower in my bed hoping some derelicts don't throw a brick through my window. There were a few cute kids dressed as a ladybug and a pirate, but mostly twenty-five year olds with facial hair and torn up garbage bags for costumes. Jen and I did enjoy the constant horror movies on television though. I know I can never get my fill of Jeepers Creepers. We had a brilliant idea to start a strictly horror movie channel a few months back, but unfortunately we don't possess the millions of dollars and industry moxie to get that going. Why doesn't that exist though? The best we have is the Sci-Fi channel releasing a Lance Henrikson and/or Lou Diamond Phillips vehicle in which they battle a sasquatch in space every week. That just doesn't cut it.
|
|
(2 comments | comment on this)
|
| Saturday, October 21st, 2006
| |
2:51 pm - opening last night
|
So, I was in a group show at Me and You Variety Candy last night with two other artists, Justin Michel (graduated from UCSD) and Allan Ludwig, who is still going to Claremont. I like both their work, Allan's pieces were cryptic drawings with obscure symbols and representational imagery (like a four-headed dog beast, ninjas and architectural structures) hidden behind scribbles and blobs. Justins' elaborate collages are comprised of horrible mutated monsters with hearts for heads and thirty arms over one or two color backgrounds.
I was happy with my work, and how all the art in the space seemed to jibe. All my pieces (drawings, text and sculptures) revolved around a deceased Vaudeville comedian, the Banana Man. I made a silly putty bust of the character, and a giant banana peel-net that was placed on the ground near the entrance of the gallery.
Not to sound like a whiny bitch, but I was feeling a little sorry for myself during the reception. There were a bunch of people from Claremont who I had a chance to meet, which was cool, but not one person from Otis showed up. I felt both embarassed that I had not brought in a slightly different crowd than usual, and disappointed because I worked so hard to put these pieces together, and none of my former classmates and friends had a chance to see it.
It made me wonder why I care so much to attend almost every function/opening that my friends are involved in, when they don't make an effort to support me. Again, I'm feeling sorry for myself, but I'd be lying if I said it didn't piss me off a little bit.
Nevertheless, I hope people will have an opportunity to see the show. It is by appointment only, unfortunately. Look on my website home page www.mattiemac.com for the info.
Addendum: Turns out many of my friends thought the show was on Saturday, not Friday. I guess sending out a skywritten reminder wouldn't have been such a bad idea. But It's $300 per letter, so I probably could have only afforded "Matshowfrday"
|
|
(1 comment | comment on this)
|
| Wednesday, September 27th, 2006
| |
1:13 pm - wholesome d-lebrity goodness
|
I guess I am truly blessed by the obscure celebrity gods. Last night, Jen and I attended a party thrown by BET for the Christies' reality show (Doug Christie of Sacramento King fame and his domineering wife, Jackie). My friends Brenden and Ryan filmed the pilot, and it was finally picked up by BET's new channel, BETJ after a couple of years.
The party was at this Southern style restaurant, Memphis, and we actually walked the red carpet up to where the party was held. Sure, people turned away and/or spit at our feet, but it was the red carpet nonetheless. We got a seat near the action and watched unrecognizable celebrity after unrecognizable celebrity saunter down the carpet with flashbulbs popping. I jokingly told the table that I hoped Kid N' Play would make it. Not ten minutes later, Kid sans Play appeared on the red carpet, his trademark 3 foot high fade toned down to a more manageable 3 inches. Brenden tried to get a picture with him, but as soon as he stood up to go greet him , Kid spotted his arch-rival, Jake Busey, son of famed loon, Gary Busey, sitting at a nearby table. Realizing that he was not in fact the biggest fish in the pond, Kid hightailed it out of there with Brenden rushing after him. What a world!!
|
|
(1 comment | comment on this)
|
|
|
|
|
